Links for July 31, 2015

Posted by David Green + July 31, 2015 + Links + Comments

20150731-links
  • Freedom speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences. This is a distinction I think this insane racist woman is about to learn.
  • Rick Perry has challenged Donald Trump to a pull-up contest. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are talking about issues that matter to the American people.
  • The Scream TV series has been renewed for a second season. There goes my dream that the series would crash and burn so we might actually get Scream 5.
  • Betty White wants to seriously fuck up the dickswab that killed Cecil the lion.
  • Speaking of Dr. Palmer, the PR firm he hired to help deal with this shit storm has ended their relationship with him. I can’t believe they took him on in the first place.
  • Cecil’s brother has stepped in to protect his cubs so they won’t be killed by rival males.
  • This guy has been eating Chipotle for 150 days and still has six pack abs. I hate him.
  • This woman claims to be in a sexual relationship with Bigfoot, and really, who can blame her? You know what they say about guys with big feet.
  • Organic compounds have been discovered on a comet.
  • Are you a pot smoker who’s looking for a like-mined companion? Well, here’s the dating app for you. Fun fact: I’ve never smoked pot, but I am for its legalization.

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Links for July 30, 2015

Posted by David Green + July 30, 2015 + Links + Comments

20150730-links
  • On the subject of Cecil the Lion, my internal Dexter Morgan has plenty of ideas for what should happen to the sociopath who killed him. These ideas are best left unsaid.
  • Today’s Darwin Award goes to this Pentecostal snake handling lunatic who was bitten by a rattlesnake, refused treatment, and promptly died.
  • The Department of Defence tries to knock some sense into Congress by telling them that climate change is a a national security risk.
  • Here are 35 science/art projects to try at home. Skip to #13 if you want to make something that looks like blue sky meth from Breaking Bad.
  • Pat Robertson wonders why God hasn’t killed all the liberals on the Supreme Court. Isn’t it about time someone put this idiot in a nursing home?
  • Note to homophobes who think it would be a great idea to walk into the gayest Starbucks on the planet and start spewing hate: Do not fuck with Leslie Jordan.
  • Steve Grand doesn’t want to be seen as a sex object. Then maybe stop pandering to your community with your six pack abs and speedo pics?
  • Proving that cats have been jerks for at least 2,000 years, an archeologist has discovered a paw print in an roofing tile from around around 100 CE.
  • Have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? This might be the answer.
  • And finally, have you ever wondered what it would look like if your favorite Disney princes were illustrated realistically? Well, here you go. Hellooooo, Prince Phillip.

Editor’s note on point #8: This website does not agree with the writer’s view that cats are jerks. They simply don’t give a shit. There is a difference.

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Links for July 25, 2015

Posted by David Green + July 25, 2015 + Links + Comments

20150725-links
  • Watch this pastor preach about the hypocrisy in church when it comes to their treatment of LGBT people. It’s a thing of beauty. Also, I love the guy in the background wearing the purple tie. He doesn’t know quite what to do once the pastor really gets going.
  • We know cats are basically a liquid. Well, apparently huskies aren’t entirely solid either.
  • A new study suggests too much TV can lead to Alzheimers. Wow, I’m screwed.
  • These marines are hoping to raise awareness about PTSD and suicide prevention by stripping down to little green silk shorts. Works for me.
  • You can now tell e-mails sent through Gmail to self-destruct after a certain amount of time has elapsed. I’m not sure how useful this is, but it is kinda cool.
  • Meet Jonathan, the oldest living land creature in the world. Probably.
  • President Obama made a birth certificate joke while on his trip in Kenya.
  • This man tries to dive into an above ground pool from a lawn chair and fails hilariously.
  • This Wyoming man was caught with cow 30 eyeballs in his ass. I take comfort in the fact that there’s a good chance this story is fake.

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Links for July 24, 2015

Posted by David Green + July 24, 2015 + Links + Comments

20150724-links
  • Over at Fox News, Megyn Kelly wasted no time trying to connect last night’s shooting in Lafayette to ISIS and/or radical Islam.
  • This Pennsylvania man called 911 to his house. When paramedics arrived, they discovered all he needed was someone to fix his air conditioning. Hey, that is an emergency!
  • Here are 16 things people living with chronic pain want you to know.
  • Thanks to Kim Kardashian (ugh) it looks like Twitter is going to get an edit feature.
  • In an ironic twist, it looks like Bill Cosby got the Quaaludes he “allegedly” used to rape 482 women from a gynecologist.
  • Here’s a never-before-seen look inside the White House on September 11, 2001. Caption for the third photo down: “We’re going to make so much fucking money in Iraq!”
  • This guy in San Diego thought it would be a great idea to take a selfie with a rattlesnake. His poor judgement cost him $150,000.
  • A teen in Connecticut attached a semi-automatic handgun to a drone, and apparently that’s perfectly legal. Because America.
  • And finally, I give you Game of Meows.

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Links for July 23, 2015

Posted by David Green + July 23, 2015 + Links + Comments

20150723-links
  • This is what it looks like when a bunch of half-naked guys in Spartan outfits go for a stroll through downtown Beijing. I know you were wondering.
  • This conservative Christian edited Harry Potter so her kids wouldn’t turn into witches — which is kinda like editing Lord of the Rings so your kids won’t turn into orcs.
  • Fans will get to decide the fate of Tara Reid’s character in Sharknado 4.
  • Kim Kardashian’s daughter has a personal trainer. Sigh, this child is two years old.
  • Did you know you can make beer from wasp yeast? I’m still trying to figure out how to turn Pixel and Typo‘s poop into wine.
  • Trump for President: The Board Game!
  • Speaking of the walking, talking, Yahoo comment, Donald Trump says he’d consider running as a third party candidate if the Republican party doesn’t get in line behind his crazy. YES! As a liberal I say YES! DO THAT!
  • Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar (noted “alleged” rape-enablers) believe God wants them to have their TV show so they can spread the His word about family values.
  • Here are five nearly identical Jesus myths that predate Jesus.
  • The military doesn’t want people standing in front of their recruitment centers with weapons. I can’t imagine why.

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