Posted by David Green | November 26, 2015 @ 7:07 pm
- This is a tricky one for me. A group of Girl Scouts in Santa Rosa, CA want to join the Boy Scouts because the activities are “more robust.” I get that. I just wonder if the parents leading this charge would be just as cool with boys joining the Girl Scouts.
- Internet. Please. Stop trying to make glitter beards happen.
- If you ask me, groups putting out ads like this spend entirely too much time thinking about grown men having sex with children in bathroom stalls. It’s kinda like how Pat Robertson spends too much time thinking about people having sex with animals.
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens got a PG-13 rating yesterday (only the second time in the franchise’s history) and I guess that’s a big deal. For some reason.
- President Obama expertly trolled his detractors on Twitter last night. And do you know why? Because he has zero fucks left to give.
- Sweet Jesus, I’m actually linking to World Net Daily. Sigh. Over there, Linda Harvey laments that there’s nowhere safe for Christians to shop anymore because of The Gay™. I would remind her that Apple, Google, Microsoft, and Linux also support gay rights, so she should just go ahead and stop using a computer. Buh-bye, darling.
- As someone who’s been living with a physical disability for almost a year, FUCK YOU IN HALF DONALD TRUMP. Why does anyone support this asshole?
- Speaking of assholes, Pat Robertson advises a mother to turn away her gay son and his boyfriend, lest she become an enabler of their filthy lifestyle.
- Buzzfeed brings us 22 pictures that sum up every single Thanksgiving. That is, if you actually spend time with your family on Thanksgiving.
- And finally, this doofis thought it would be a good idea to jump the White House fence wearing an American flag cape. He was quickly proven wrong.
Posted by David Green | November 25, 2015 @ 5:46 pm
Holy shit, it’s been a long time since I’ve done this. Let’s see if I’m still good at mocking stupid people for saying and doing stupid things.
- Noted liar, racist, bigot, (and on and on) Donald Trump claims that he saw people jump to their deaths from the twin towers on 9/11. According to Gawker, the penthouse apartment Trump has lived in since 1999 is four miles away.
- Anthony Vincent sings Adele’s "Hello" in 25 different styles in a little over 5 minutes.
- A dress worn by Judy Garland just sold for $1.56 million. Moral of the story? If you find yourself working on a movie set, steal as much shit as you possibly can.
- Martin Shkreli (aka, Pharma Douche) says his company won’t be lowering the price of Daraprim, as promised. Because he’s an asshole.
- Famous Footwear has a new ad featuring two dads. That sound you hear is all three of the One Million Moms’ heads exploding.
- In news that should surprise no one, Phuc Dat Bich is a phucing liar.
- Noted fake Christian, Kevin Swanson (who I’m just assuming has more than a few rentboys in his past) says that God will destroy the UK because of The Gay™.
- Speaking of Trump, the man who was beaten, choked, and tossed out of one of his rallies in Alabama will be pursuing legal action against his attackers and Trump himself.
- Snoop Dogg handed out 1,500 of turkeys to families in need in the city of Inglewood a few days ago. Because he’s Snoop Dogg, that’s why.
- JJ Abrams says (other than a few tweaks here and there) The Force Awakens is ready and he’s terrified to release it. I can’t imagine how stressed he must be right now.
Posted by David Green | August 5, 2015 @ 11:47 pm
- It looks like Lexus really did build a working hoverboard. Just don’t expect to see it on store shelves anytime soon.
- George W. Bush finally sees the inside of a courtroom… as a juror. Yeah, I know, I was really hoping it would be on trial at The Hague too.
- A 12-year-old Florida boy has been arrested for gunning down a 26-year-old trans woman and I’m sure his parents are very proud. No, really, I’m sure they are.
- Buzzfeed asked nine scientists what scares them the most.
- Could someone please tell me why we still use Facebook?
- Trump’s plan for tomorrow’s GOP debate? Wing it! I’m already popping popcorn.
- Noted fake Christian, James David Manning of ATLAH World Missionary Church still thinks Starbucks is using “sodomites’ semen” in their lattes.
- According to this 110-year-old woman, the answer to living a long life is booze.
- Kevin Bacon wants film audiences to see more dicks. Sounds good to me.
- Watch as Fox News viewers yell at each other over Donald Trump. I honestly don’t know which I’m looking forward to more; the debate itself, or the postmortem analysis.
Posted by David Green | August 4, 2015 @ 10:59 pm
- Two men opened fire on soldiers at a Jade Helm training site in Mississippi. I’m sure Alex Jones will call it a false flag meant to discredit him.
- Rick and Daryl get a little handsy for Entertainment Weekly. I’m not well versed in the hanky code. What does a pink one mean?
- Ted Cruz cooked bacon on the muzzle of a machine gun. Because nothing screams “leader of the free world” like cooking bacon on the muzzle of a machine gun.
- In case you’ve ever wondered what Alexander Skarsgård (aka, Eric from True Blood) would look like in drag, well here you go.
- Watch this Disney animator create a beautiful tribute to Cecil the lion.
- A homophobe thought it would be a great idea to pick a fight with a couple of West Point graduates. It didn’t end well for him.
- Never let it be said that Lenny Kravitz doesn’t know how to rock out with his cock out.
- Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have broken up.
- Ben Carson doesn’t know whether or not the Bible has authority over the Constitution. Reminder: he’s running for president.
- Behold, the worlds smallest cordless drill and circular saw.
Posted by David Green | July 31, 2015 @ 3:46 pm
- Freedom speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences. This is a distinction I think this insane racist woman is about to learn.
- Rick Perry has challenged Donald Trump to a pull-up contest. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are talking about issues that matter to the American people.
- The Scream TV series has been renewed for a second season. There goes my dream that the series would crash and burn so we might actually get Scream 5.
- Betty White wants to seriously fuck up the dickswab that killed Cecil the lion.
- Speaking of Dr. Palmer, the PR firm he hired to help deal with this shit storm has ended their relationship with him. I can’t believe they took him on in the first place.
- Cecil’s brother has stepped in to protect his cubs so they won’t be killed by rival males.
- This guy has been eating Chipotle for 150 days and still has six pack abs. I hate him.
- This woman claims to be in a sexual relationship with Bigfoot, and really, who can blame her? You know what they say about guys with big feet.
- Organic compounds have been discovered on a comet.
- Are you a pot smoker who’s looking for a like-mined companion? Well, here’s the dating app for you. Fun fact: I’ve never smoked pot, but I am for its legalization.