By Any Other Name

I’ve never liked my given name.

After my dad’s death in 2010, I was disowned by his side of the family for being gay. Their loss, fuck them, etc. Still, my middle and last names came from his side of the family. After their disowning me, I no longer felt the need to honor them. So, the middle and last names were the first things to go.

I chose Husdon for my surname because it’s a name that comes from my mom’s side of the family. They may be right wing rednecks, but they’ve never turned away from me for being gay.

Real family is like that, I guess.

I had a surname, but I still need a first and middle name.

For as long as I’ve said I didn’t like my name, my mother has told me that she always knew my name would be David. Her reason being that David means “beloved” in Hebrew. I’ve never understood that reasoning because she isn’t Jewish, but there you have it.

So, I compromised by moving David over to be my middle name. There was also the small matter of having another mother who was rather attached to my Hawaiian name, Kawika. Truth be told, I actually like this name very much too, so I had to keep that as well.

My first name. This is one I’ve wrested with for many years, but I finally settled on William. It’s a name I like. It’s a name I’m comfortable with.

So. William David “Kawika” (pronounced: “ka-vee-ka”) Hudson. Has a nice ring, don’cha think?

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